101 Things and more we would love to hear in SGA
by Gundambaby
Summary: As the title says, a bunch of lines yet to be heard in the series... Now continued, because you asked for it!
1. 1 to 16

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Things we would have loved to hear in Stargate Atlantis

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**Thank the lord it´s drabble time again :)  
This is set up for 101 Things, I really hope I can come up with them. **

**Here are the first 16 ones.**

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1. **Ford  
**"Um, good Wraith, very good Wraith, do you want, um, a power bar, just sit down, okay? Oh no, you´re not gonna kill me, oh no! Just because I´m a silly sidekick character, right?!"

2.** McKay _(sobbing)_  
**"Elizabeeeeth, Johnny is sooo mean to me!"

3. **Teyla** (encountering a planet)

"Oh, yes, the xxxxx – a bunch of cadgers, dumb like shit and smelling worse than a herd of goats in mid july.We should just kill them and take whatever we need."

4. **McKay** "So, what was the name again? Zenpuka?"

_Zelenka punches him_

5**. Weir**  
"It´s okay John, these villagers might not have machine guns or any weapons at all, but since their muckrakes look threatening, it´s okay to kill all of them."

6. **Zelenka (to McKay)  
**"If ain´t broken, don´t fix it!"

7. **Scientist chick one** "Hey, look at my new uniform! Ain´t that one cool?"

**Scientist chick two** "Bitch! You wear the same one I do!"

8.** McKay** "And that´s my sister Jeannie."  
**Sheppard** "Nice boobs."

9.** Anybody **"Um, Ronon, are those scars on your back from the Wraith?"

**Ronon** "Hell no dude. My wife just sometimes was a bit dominant in bed."

10.** Teyla  
**"Booooooi, that´s sweet dude!"

11.** McKay _(to Cadman in his head)_**  
"Oh just shut up or I tell Beckett all the things you wanna do with him once you finally got him strapped down on your bed – oh yes, one about whipped cream too!"

12. **Beckett_ (using the control chair) _  
**"Haha! Die you bloody bastards, DIEEEE!"

13. **McKay**  
"Do I look fat in this HazMat suit?"

14. **Weir **_**(about Micheal)** _"So, what do we call him?"

**Sheppard** "I think I´ll name him Bambi."

15. **Sumner (before dying)  
**"I´m … your … (rattle) father.. John"

16.** Sheppard  
**"Ey, McKay – were´s my puddle jumper?"


	2. 17 to 25

Part two! Holy cow, thanks for reviewing O.o!  
Jenwryn KariHermione SuperRainbowMuffin Tinker Belle Blue Jammeke Banshi13 Lady Katanya Reefgirl Pajus

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17. **Itarus-Sheppard** _**(waking up in the infirmary)**_ "What happened?"  
**Weir **"Oh, you run ran wild, ripped of your clothes, and all of us had a orgy, including Caldwell. Oh, and I´m pregnant."  
_John faints_

18. **McKay  
**"I´m not fat! I just have a large frame!"

19. **Jeannie Miller  
**"So, I´d be gone for about four months? Maybe more? Great! Okay, just let me get my toothbrush.  
Just can´t wait to get the hell out of here!"

20. **Asuran**  
"You should really reprogram yourself Sir, you look aweful fat!"

21.** Wraith **_(to victim)  
_"I hope it was good for you too babe?"

22.** Weir** "What´s the status of Major Sheppard´s injury?"  
**Ford** "Some crazy alien chick is giving him the blowjob of his life!"  
**Weir** "What!?"

23. **Sheppard** "Oh my god, they killed Sumner!"  
**Ford** "Bastards!"

24. **Teyla **"So Dr Weir, what are you going to do tonight?"  
**Weir **"The same thing I do every night, try to take over the world!"

25. _**Beckett´s ghost haunts Atlantis. In a kilt.**_


	3. 26 to 42

**Part 3. My Gosh, so many people!**

**alwayz Banshi13 Belisse Clio Reap E. Nagrom Geeked Jammeke Jenwryn JoSG1fan KariHermione Lady Katanya lemons and wraith oh my McStupid Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin SpaceMonkey0941 SuperRainbowMuffin Tinker Belle Blue**

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26.** Ronon**  
"Hey, Sheppard, what´s a Rambo?" 

27. **Beckett** "So the team is back? Anybody hurt? Wounded, dead, crippled?"  
**Gate room staff** "Um - no. Everybody´s fine."  
**Beckett** "Damn! Mo Chreach!"

28. **McKay_ (on realizing Cadman is stuck in head)_**_  
_"Great, now I have an additional voice in my head. As if five wasn´t a crowd already."

29. **Sheppard _(stepping through the gate, sun glasses on)_**_  
_"I´ll be baaaack."

30. **Lorne**  
"I´m bad at poker. Anybody UNO?"

31. **McKay**  
"Haha, very funny Sheppard, now come out… Sheppard? Sheppard? Sheppard!!! 'sniff' That´s not funny! Now come out, or I´m gonna tell Dr Weir about!!"

32. **Teyla**  
"Dr Weir, could you tell me who 'dildo' is? I have failed to meet him yet, but all the women say he is the best ever. Is he a big leader in your world?"  
_Weir 'cough,blush'_

33. **Itarus bug dad _(after episode 1x04)_**  
"Where's my son? Where's Buggy?"

34. **_'whack' Zelenka sends Ronon on the mat_**

35. **Anybody**  
"Go fishing? Oh that´s cool! I would love to! Now? Okay, just gimme a minute to pack!"

36. **Weir**  
"You ask me out on a date? No, no, I can´t do that! 'pauses' But … I know a nice little storeroom not far down the hall…"

37. **McKay**  
"Um, Radek, what means 'curák'?"

38. **Ford_ (on enzyme)_**

"Booooi, sooo many preeeettiiiii coooolooors!! And mice, there are mice tooooo!! Huhuh, thaaat´s coooool!"

40. **Sheppard **"_'snort' _Oh, Yeah, eh heh heh."

**McKay** "Heh Hehheh, henh hmm, heh, heh, henh, henh."

41. **Beckett**

"Try the morphine, it's excellent today."

42. **McKay _(Cadman in his head, kissing a mirror)_**  
"I love you Rodney!"


	4. 43 to 52

**Thank you: alwayz Banshi13 Belisse Clio Reap Ditzyleo E. Nagrom Geeked Jammeke Jenwryn JoSG1fan KariHermione Lady Katanya lemons and wraith oh my McStupid mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin SpaceMonkey0941 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin Tazmy Tinker Belle Blue**

**part #4, half way through!**

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43. **Beckett **  
"Scissors, swap, scalpel – ups."

44. **Weir  
**"Damn O'Neill, let's get over this silly pick-up stuff and finally get going for real!"

45. **Ford **(_to Ronon_)  
"Okay, so you´re way more popular than me, and bigger, stronger and tougher, all cool and stuff? Say what, I couldn´t care less! Haha… Yes… Ha…ha 'Sniff' You... you stupid Caveman!"

46.** Teyla  
**"Oh, pretty Teyla, pretty pretty."

47. **Beckett**  
"No, I won't give Rodney a placebo, I won't give Rodney a placebo, I won't give Rodney a placebo…"

48. **Sheppard** (_flying Atlantis_)  
"Oh yeah, I'm the king of the world Baby!"

49. **McKay **"You still gonna eat that?"  
**Sheppard **(_licks his piece of cake_) "Nope, you can have it."

50. **McKay** "Yeah, you're right, she probably hates me – and she has every right to do so!"  
**Sheppard** "Hey, stop it man, what are you – glutton for punishment?!"

51. **Teyla** (_whispering_)  
"I can see dead people!"

52.** Wraith Queen  
**"Oh, please no fat people today. I'm on diet."


	5. 52 to 64

**Hey HO! Still going, a bit short, sorry**

**Thanks to: alwayz Banshi13 Belisse Clio Reap Ditzyleo E. Nagrom Geeked Jammeke Jenwryn JoSG1fan KariHermione Lady Katanya lemons and wraith oh my McStupid memyselfandi89 mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin scifi lemon SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin Tazmy TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue**

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53. **Wraith **_(to Michael)  
_"Ne Ne Ne !! You're no real Wraith! You are aaaaddddoooopteeed!! Ne Ne Ne !"

54. **Sheppard** _(standing in front of a mirror)  
_"Hello, gorgeous!"

55. **_Teyla putting her forehead to anybody else's, waiting, and slamming down real hard._**

56. **Weir  
**"Water here, water there – nothing but water around us! Can't we use the hyperdrive and move up somewhere nicer? Maybe something with a little bit scenery, like New England?"

57. **Zelenka  
**"Prime or not Prime. Five."  
**McKay  
**"Not Prime."

58. **_The team meets some aliens. Yip Yip like aliens._**

59.** Zelenka  
**"Oh, we play for trades today! Already got a complete Sailor Moon DVD set - and the soundtrack too! Two more games, and I get the new pokemon movies, haha! You wanna watch? I can lend you."  
**Beckett**  
"Um, yes, thank you..."

60. **_Anybody vacuum cleaning his her room._**

61. **Ancient  
**"I'm bored Mom, can I descending for a few hours? Please?"

62. **Sheppard  
**"Okay, Rodney, here you've got a shoelace, a bubblegum paper, a pair of socks and a broken toaster. Now mcguyver us a stargate!"

63. **Sheppard  
**"Damn, why do I always end up beaten up? It that what you call training?"  
**Ronon** _(grinning)  
_"No. Foreplay."  
**Sheppard** _( jawdropping)_

64. **McKay  
**"Are we there already? Can I have something to drink? Are we there already? I'm bored. Are we there already? Can I have another Powerbar? Are we there already? It's really hot out here. Are we there already?"


	6. 65 to 74

**#73 is for memyselfandi89 Hand me the mop**

**To short and it took quite long.. and not so funny.. sorrysigh**

**Thanks to:**

**alwayz Banshi13 Belisse Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap Ditzyleo E. Nagrom Geeked Jammeke Jenwryn JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my McStupid memyselfandi89 mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue**

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65.** Carson  
**"Argh! Shilpit wee nyaff!" 

66. **Wraith  
**"Hey guys, I'm bored. Let's make a suck off contest, who can drain most humans in a row without getting sick?"

67. **Wraith **_(feeding on some human)  
_"Sorry ma chere, but you've got some really bad taste. And I'm not only talking about your style of clothes here. By the way, brown shoes and brown pants are just sooo out darling. A man of your – by the way rapidly increasing - age should dress according to it. And this hair! All knotted and smelly... I'm glad it's rather dark in here, because this ridiculous colored vest of yours would otherwise hurt my eyes I'm afraid. But if you ever need some help finding a good store for real breath taking fashion, I can-"  
**Victim**  
"Shut up and kill me already!!"

68. **Teyla  
**"Do you think me wearing these sort of clothes is to much of an alien-dress-like-back-in the-middle-ages clique?"

69.**Wraith  
**"Did you know that feeding on a virgin does increase virility?"  
**Wraith 2**  
"Now that's cool! ... Um …what is virility?"

70. **McKay  
**"I'm not hungry."

71. **Sheppard  
**"Yes, that is Arnold Schwarzenegger Ronon, no, he is not cool, no, you can't dress like him – and no, you're not allowed to say Hasta la vista baby when shooting a Wraith."

72. **McKay  
**"Give me that, argh damn, what was what is again, that ancient-important-whatever-it-is!"  
**Zelenka  
**"You mean the Screwdriver?"

73. **Weir  
**"Give me city wide. AS LONG AS JOHN SHEPPARD HAS NOT CLEANED HIS ROOM NOBODY IS GOING OFFWORLD! AND IF MCKAY DOESN'T CLEAN HIS LAB THERE WILL BE NO MORE COFFEE! EVER! UNDERSTOOD?"

74. **Caldwell  
**"Okay Hermiod, what part of my brain did you beam out along with the goa'uld!?"


	7. 75 to 83

**Thanks to: _alwayz Banshi13 Belisse Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap dani-lyn Ditzyleo DorothyofKansas E. Nagrom Geeked Jammeke Jenwryn JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my McStupid memyselfandi89 mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon SithLibrarian SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue_**

**Not so funny this time it's getting harder to come up with stuff, sorry**

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75. **Anybody**  
"Good morning, Dr Weird – um… sorry…No... please, not the 'treatmeant', please..." 

76. **Sheppard**  
"What do you mean - my ears look funny?"  
**McKay**  
"Oh, nothing at all... Spock."

77. **McKay**  
"Cookies! Cooookies! 'munchmunchmunch'"

78. **Teyla**  
"Elizabeth, is 'blow-job' a type of storm?"

79.** Ronon**  
"John, I have talked to everybody on Atlantis. ABBA and YMCA are not cool or manly."

80.** McKay  
**"Before I wanted to be a scientist, I wanted to become a pianist."  
**Sheppard**  
"Hm, before I wanted to become a pilot, I wanted to be a firefighter."  
**Ronon**  
"Before I joined the army, I wanted to be a ballerina."  
_Jaw drops all around_

81. **Sheppard**  
"Um, Teyla, why is Jinto dressing like a girl?"  
**Teyla  
**"Oh, it's quite common for my people to cross dress. Why shouldn't a pretty boy or man have the right to be a beautiful woman?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Um… Teyla… um…"  
**Teyla** (_smiling broadly_)  
"It's okay. Feel free to call me Teyto."  
_Sheppard faints_

82. **Hermiod**  
"Hermiod Phone home."

83. **Sheppard **_(sitting on the control chair)_  
"Power of Atlantean Crystal, Make up!"


	8. 84 to 93

**Holy cow, almost done! Thanks to everybody tagging along**

_alwayz Banshi13 Belisse Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap dani-lyn Ditzyleo Ditzyleo DorothyOfKansas E. Nagrom Geeked Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my McStupid memyselfandi89 mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon SithLibrarian SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue_

**Number 84 is a reference to Andromeda's Tyr; Number 92 is a homage to the Stargate episode 10.03. The rest are mostly quotes - sorry - but as for Number 83 I can't get those out of my head. I hope you still think of some of them as funny :)**

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84. **Weir  
**"Okay Ronon Dex, you are allowed to stay on the city of Atlantis, but I first want you to sign this contract."  
**Ronon**  
"What is it about?"  
**Weir**  
"Oh, just allowing me to shoot you if you ever cut of your Dreads and look like one of those gay police officers on YMAC afterwards." 

85. **Sheppard  
**"Fascinating."

86.** McKay  
**"Accio laptop!"

87. **Teyla  
**"I have many skills. Ayiyiyiyi!!"

88. **Caldwell  
**"Energize!"

89. **Caldwell **(_in suicidal mood_)  
"Beam me up Hermy!"

90. **Ronon** (_smiling faintly, voice very deep_)  
"Indeed."

91. **Sheppeard  
**"Weir always said 'Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.'"

92. **Carter  
**"Yes, we do need McKay for this mission."  
**Weir**  
"John, do you think you could spare Rodney from your team?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Hell, you can keep him."  
**Carter**  
"Really? Thank you! I just to ask if I can take him back to earth so he can help us on the SGC, but I was afraid you would not let him go. But if you say so – thanks! I really appreciated that!"  
**Sheppard **(_suddenly all pale_)  
"Hey, I was just kidding!! You're not gonna take him away from here!! Elizabeth? You wouldn'let them, right? Please! You just can't do that!"

93. **McKay  
**"Mhmp-mphph-hhphhhm-hmhhp-phmm-HMMMM!!!"  
(Very funny Carson, now give me the antidote!)


	9. 94 to 101

**Sigh, what lame last chapter… Already 101?  
Thanks to everybody sticking along and posting such lovely reviews!! You guys are great!' **

Thank you: **alwayz Banshi13 Belisse Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap dani-lyn Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom Geeked Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Lady Katanya lemons and wraith oh my McStupid mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue **

See you on '202 things we would like to hear again ;)'!!

_Number 96 is an original quote from Andromeda… but hell, it was so funny I just had to abuse it_

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94. **Carter  
**"Hey, McKay, you free tonight? I really do have the hots for you, and I think we should integrate those Pi of yours into my generator loop."  
**McKay**  
"Oh my dear, you did not really think there was aaaanything going on between the two of us? I have just been hitting on you to cover up my relationship with Roney-honey, ha ha my sweetheart!"  
_Carter faints_

95. **Ronon** (_ smiling seductively into the camera, shaking his hair_)  
"L'Oreal - Because I'm worth it".

96. **Sheppard  
**"Hey Teyla, where do you get all those candles from?"  
**Teyla**  
"I rendered them from the fat of my enemies."

97. **Caldwell  
**"Novak, tell Hermiod to localize Sheppard's hair and beam it on my head."  
**Lindsay**  
"Sir?!"  
**Caldwell**  
"Just kidding. Take Ronon's."

98. **Carson  
**"Okay, Sheppard, I want you to tell me once again exactly what you touched, what happened then, and how the hell it turned you into a pot plant!"

99. **McKay  
**"Dr Weir, we have a problem."  
**Weir**  
"What is it?"  
**McKay**  
"Some idiot has installed Windows, and it's now trying to sink the city."

100.**Wraith queen **(_seeing some Wraith feed on her servants_)  
"Kids!! How often do I have to tell you, no sweets before dinner! You'll just ruin your appetite! And do you think I pick out those planets each and every day for you just for the bare fun of it? 'sniff' You're such bad bad kiddies, never thinking of your poor mother."  
**Wraiths**  
"But Mommie, we do love! We promise we won't suck on servants before a culling ever again."  
**Wraith queen**  
"Oh, me babies!"  
'_hugs and kisses all around'_

101. **Me  
**"Previously on Stargate Atlantis: A group of slightly insane fans have captured the producers and whole cast of SGA! With nobody coming to the rescue, our heroes are forced to play whatever the slightly insane fandom will come up with! Do not miss the first brand new episode of the new season – _Fans made us do it_!"


	10. Extra 1

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Thank you for your kind reviews!! **

_Athena's Owl Banshi13 Belisse Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom Geeked HieiKuramaFan Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko KariHermione kennyk12 Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk McStupid memyselfandi89 mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue

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_

**Until I can come up with more (and I definitly will, since this stuff is truly addictive ;), here's a little Extra for you.

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**

**Planets and Locations we would like to see: **

**Planet of King Geeks**, just for the fun of having McKay gloat

**World of the 'Pink is a holy color'** cult; We see the team being painted and getting their hair dyed

**A world with a advanced civilization** – resulting in something like the team stepping through the gate … onto a Interstate Highway

**Planet of the 'We have a Hair cult' natives**; Sheppard either gets to be King or 'sacrificed' and shorn

Time Warp! '**New York city of the 70thies'** …. Yeah be groovy, psychedelic brother (because of time travel, Ronon's hair is mutating into a giant afro hairdo)

**Atlantean Shower stalls **… I'm rather curious to be honest

**Deja-vu planet** - Haven't we been here before? And with at least one black cat, please

**Intergalactic Party Planet** – the team is having real fun for once, no drama or evil!behind story. Just plain boozing, having a laugh and dancing all night long

**Reklat sdrawkcab eht fo dlroW**

**Your own home**

**Discworld!!** Now how cool would that one be? A'Tuin encounters a super gate…

**Magic Mushroom jungle**; Who would not die to see a stoned Sheppard?

The '**_Elizabeth has send us out on a crappy mission so we fake and dial to another planet and return later, saying the population was culled and there was nothing oh so we could do_'** **hiding place** (common, I would do that, find myself some nice cozy place instead of facing angry villagers…)

**Pantomimic planet**; Who'd go insane first, McKay or Sheppard?

**World of Shrinking** – we get to see Mini-Sheppard, Mini-McKay, Mini-Teyla and Mini-Ronon (fighting of an invasion of Mini-Wraith, insufferable cute)

**An ancient garage** on Atlantis full of motorbikes, water ski, paint ball guns and other stuff – ever wondered what the ancients did for fun when they were not busy ascending?

Just any place, any world where the natives **do not speak english**!!

**Ronon's quarters **(I'm fairly sure we haven't seen it so far?)

It's such a clique, but at last – **Genderswitch planet please**! Complete with Meredith McKay, Joanna Sheppard, Roanna Dex and Tetro Emmagan!

And last, but not least - an **Alien Fast Food Drivethru**. No matter if McWraith, Fried Asuran or Ori King


	11. 102 to 111

I just can't end this thing yet, can I? So here's more, thanks to:

_alwayz Athena's Owl Banshi13 Belisse Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap dani-lyn Delka Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom Geeked HieiKuramaFan Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk McStupid memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue_

If you get number 109 right, congratulations! One must love the series, ne? 105 came to me after watching the 3.17 for the 20th time... my humor is rater... strange 'cough'. Loads of quotes in this one

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102.  
**Sheppard**  
"Calling Atlantis, lower the shield we're coming in hot!  
**Mail box  
**"Thank you for calling the tower of Atlantis, unfortunately nobody is at the controls currently, please call again in a few minutes." 

103.  
**Natives**  
"Hakaua Kasazap Huaalla Bhhhoooloot! Bjakal tokeema noki?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Teyla, what did they say?"  
**Teyla**  
"Um… Hello tasty looking strangers, we hope you don't mind staying for dinner?"

104.  
**Scientist**  
"Dr McKay, isn't it dangerous to work on this artefact without knowing what it does?"  
**McKay**  
"Yes, it would be, if I were a stupid new recruits with no clue of higher physics and ancient machinery – hello, genius here!"  
_BOOM_

105.  
**McKay**  
"This device produces radiation that creates explosive tumors in your groin!"  
**Ronon**  
"Are you kidding me?"  
**McKay**  
"Haha, yes, just kidding. It creates explosives behind your lungs!"

106.  
**Zelenka** (_to a scientist messing up_)  
" Ah, It was you James... I know it was you. You broke my heart. You broke my heart. You disappointed me…"

107.  
**McKay** (_on spotting some alien animal_)  
"Oh, I always wanted to have a pony!! Can I keep it John? Pleeeease!"

108.  
**Sheppard** _(a red S - not for Sheppard by the way - on his chest)_  
"I'm here to fight for truth, justice, and the American way."

109.  
**Zelenka**  
"Sir, I have a cunning plan!"

110.  
**Sheppard **  
"Rodney, I've got a feeling we're not in Milky way anymore."

111.  
**Ronon** (_jumping on a chair_)  
"EEEEEK!! Ohmygod!!!A spider!! KILL IT!!! NOW!"


	12. 112 to 120

**Thank you:**_alwayz angw Anuna arcticmoonshadow Athena's Owl Banshi13 Belisse bookworm1442 Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap Dances-With-Chocolate Delka Ditzyleo Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom Geeked HieiKuramaFan Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk McStupid memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue Whirlwind-2005_

**Number 112 … have you see 3.17? I just loved his futile try to get out… and I bet it's not his first try or last try... As for nr. 114 – telepathic abilities must be loads of fun!**

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112. **Sheppard**  
"Hey Teyla, have you forgotten?"**  
Teyla**  
"Um, no – you wanted to teach Ronon and myself how to play golf… Unfortunately, I can't come-"  
**Sheppard**  
"Don't tell me you've got to do missions reports or meet Elizabeth… you've already used that one – twice!"  
**Teyla**  
"No… of course I'm not try to get out of this… But I'm suffering from the worst PMS every, and would try to kill you with a golf club if you annoy me any further."  
**Sheppard**  
"Okay… see ya, Teyla…."  
**Ronon**  
"Um, John, you know, I suffer from –"  
**Sheppard**  
"Don't Even Think About !!" 

113.**Carson**  
"Nurse Frand, will you stop drooling all over me and hand me the damn defibrillator? This is no bloody 'Emergency Room', and I'm definitely not George Clooney!"

114. **Sheppard**  
"Try to think not of anything that makes you anxious."  
**McKay**  
"Okay, I try… but would you first stop thinking about machine guns, Ronon's ass and 'if I threat to shot him would he try to ascend faster'? Oh, and no, don't worry I have not see those thoughts of yours about whipped cream, hand cuffs and kinky sex. Definitely not."

115. **McKay**  
"Stop sneaking up to me like this! Are you trying to kill me or what?"  
**Zelenka**  
"This is rhetorical question, right?"

116. **Lorne**  
"Atlantis, we have a problem."  
**Control room**  
"You and your team have been kidnapped by some aliens after you accidentially not only blew up their holy ancient temple but all of their supplies, and now they want to torture you and cut of your wallie-wallie, am I right?"  
**Lorne**  
"Um... yeah, yes. How come you know already?"  
**Control room**  
"Lucky guessing, and besides... That's what happend last time too, Major."

117. **McKay** (_in the sunken Puddle Jumper_)  
"I'm hallucinating you, right?"  
**Carter**  
"No, you don't."  
**Mckay**  
"You are wearing a pink jogging suit."  
**Carter**  
"Damn, I forgot…. Um, nevermind - you do hallucinate me, okay?"

118. **Zelenka**  
"Argh! Stop it with those damn prejudices! I'm Czech, not Russian; I hate vodka and songs about long dark cold winter nights and broken hearts!! I do not even like snow! My siblings are not named Natascha,Olga oder Kyrill, and I have no uncle Iwan!!!And damn no, I won't do the kasatschok, Hajzl!!"

119. **Weir**  
"We really need to clean Atlantis… not only do the floor and rooms look like hell, but we can barely look out of the windows anymore for all that dirt… I want you to recruit team, who will spend the next few weeks scrubbing and polishing…"**  
Sheppard**  
"Hm… Or we evacuate the city, leave some soap and washing powder behind, sink the whole thing, leave it to soak for a few days and raise it again."**  
Weir**  
"Sometimes I tend to forget... You have been single and in the military for a long, long time, right?"

120. **Ford** (_in the middle of nowhere_)  
"I have been on the main cast - Get Me Out of Here!!!"


	13. Extra 2

_Thanks to: _

_alwayz KariHermione angw kennyk12 Anuna Kodiak's Sweet Breath arcticmoonshadow Lady Katanya Athena's Owl lakewater Banshi13 lemons and wraith oh my Belisse Little Raven-Hawk Belisse McStupid bookworm1442 memyselfandi89 Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Miss Elyc Chaos Queen2.0 mrskeeler Clio Reap nightriderbrat Dances-With-Chocolate scifiprincess Delka SithLibrarian Ditzyleo SmacksKiller Dorothy Of Kansas SpaceMonkey0941 E. Nagrom Splitbeak Exangeline Star Mage1 Geeked SuperMiss HieiKuramaFan SuperRainbowMuffin Jammeke tati Jenwryn Tazmy Jezzalinko TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan JoSG1fan TheEternalPixie Watersoulhealer Tinker Belle Blue Reefgirl Scarbantia Rissa of the Saiya-Jin scifi lemon Pajus_

_Since the new chapter is not ready yet, you only get this little extra, sorry _

* * *

_Even though the back ground of Star gate Atlantis is well done and fitting - Instrumentals get a tad bit boring after a while..._

_ So here they come - _

**50 Songs we would like to hear as Star Gate Atlantis Background music**

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

1.Sheppard, getting caught offworld, having to fight his way home all alone

_Gloria Gaynor - I will survive_

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

2. A Wraith being punished by his queen

ABBA – Mamma Mia!

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

3. Wraith or Asuran army showing up

Village People - Y.M.C.A

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

4. Wraith through the skies, Hive ships moving into orbit

Miguel Brown - So many men, so little time

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

5. Genii stepping through the gate end Episode 3.07

Oasis - Don't Look Back In Anger

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

6. Wraith Queen heading out to feed

The Weather Girls - It's raining men

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

7. Sheppard shooting Sumner

Eric Clapton – I shot the Sheriff

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

8. The team locked up in some prison

Chicago – Cell Block Tango

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

9. Mess hall

Missy Elliot - Gossip Folks Ft Ludacris

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

10. McKay in his lab past midnight

Garbage – Cup of Coffee

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

11.Sheppard and the Wraith escaping from Koyla

Bubba Sparxxx - Deliverence

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

12. McKay being held captive and having to fix something

Butterfingers – I love work

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

13. Carson offworld

Tonastics – Witchdoctor

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

14. McKay working on saving the day

Bob the builder – Can we fix it?

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

15. Team being threat by an army of angry aliens

Ottawan – Hands up

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

16. Carson testing his new serum on Micheal

Frank N Furter - I can make you a man

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

17. Atlantis rising from the ocean

Donovan – Atlantis (It's a must!!)

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

18. Close shot on McKay's food tray

The Who – Too much of anything

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

19. Sheppard not only having lost his way offworld (once again)

Johnny Cash – The Wanderer

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

20. The team having saved the day and various planets, walking of into the sunset

Sister Sledge - We are family

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

21. Wraith queen entering the room

Nelly Furtado – Maneater

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

22. McKay living on the operation table, arrow stuck in his behind, grinning like mad

4 Non Blondes – Morphine

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

23. Ronon beating up a marine while training

The Offspring – Bad Habbit

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

24. Sheppard and McKay hiking through a forest

Genesis – Follow you Follow Me

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

25. Colonel Ellis giving okay for bombing the Asurans

Rammstein – Feuer frei

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

26. Whole episode 16 season 3, cause those suits look so damn funny

Spaceman – Spaceman

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

27. Episode 3.17 instead of this dreaful bagpipes in the end

Creed – Sacrifice

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

28. Sheppard getting a new ancient toy to play with

Andrew W.K. - We Want Fun

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

29.The Team exploring a planet, finding tunnels, ancient facilities and facing monsters

Nintendo – Super Mario Theme

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

30. Teyla moping the floor with Sheppard while stick fighting

ELO – Don't bring me down

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

31. Sheppard and Ronon kicking back, relaxing, talking about women and relationships

Apache Indian - Boomshakalaka

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

32. Scientists working on saving the city

Beatsticks - We have to figure it out tonight

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

33. McKay dangling from a tree, watching Ronon and Ford fight

Pet Shop Boys & Dusty Springfield - What have I done to deserve this

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

34. People realizing McKay is not bad after all

No Doubt – Underneath it all

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

35. Episode 1.04

Stacie Orrico - Stuck

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

36. Scientists finding some new and really interesting ancient device

Simon and Garfunkel - The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

37. Each time the Ancients have messed up in some spectacular way

KLF - Justified and Ancient

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

38. Episode 1.02, Sheppard awakes the Wraith

Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

39. The team finding out why the natives are so friendly and constantly happy

Manu Chao & Radio Bemba - Marihuana Boogie

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

40. Sheppard fighting the Genii during the storm

ACDC - TNT

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

41. Zelenka radioing Weir (He has a crush on her, definitely)

Pointer Sisters - I'm so excited

42. McKay eating a super triple chocolate limited cappucino edition special powerbar

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

Perry Como - Magic Moments

43. Ford on enzyme

Truth Hurts feat. Rakim - Addictive

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

44. Michael working in his lab

The Police – So lonely

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

45. After the city has been saved

Eurythmics – I saved the World again

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

46. Riding on the jumper to some godforsaken ancient outpost

Bill Black Combo – Josephine (You really, really have to listen to it to get the idea)

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

47. Anytime Sheppard asks 'What the hell just happened McKay?"

Peter Cetera - No Explanation

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

48. McKay, Ronon, Sheppard or anybody else walking through Atlantis halls, grinning

Shaggy - Me Julie feat. Ali G

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

49. The team searching for a ZPM offworld

U2 - Still haven´t found what I´m looking for

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

50. Atlantis lifting off, leaving Lantea behind and escaping the Asurans

Fatboy Slim - Because We Can Can Can

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪

(And as a new opening - Queen - I'm Going Slightly Mad)


	14. 121 to 128

**Thanks to:**_ alwayz angw Anuna arcticmoonshadow Athena's Owl Banshi13 Belisse Belisse bookworm1442 Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap Dances-With-Chocolate Delka Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom Exangeline Geeked HieiKuramaFan Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk McStupid MedliR memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SkitzStar SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue Watersoulhealer wolf guardian of light_

Special thanks to Kodiak's Sweet Breath for betaing !

* * *

**Sorry for me taking so long to come up with those. 128 is an original script text from 2x10, gone sizzle :)**

121. **Sheppard**  
"Uhm, sorry guys, but I think I lost my way..."**  
McKay**  
"John, we haven't even stepped through the gate."

122. **McKay**  
"This is the best ancient invention ever! It's a self-recharging, easily adjusting, light stunner gun using environmental energy to materialize two super flat high speed killer discs cutting your enemy in half!"  
**Sheppard**  
"Looks like an ordinary toaster to me."

123. **Dr Biro**  
"I'm so bored out of my mind… can't somebody die round here?"

124. **City security**  
"Um, Dr Weir, I think we have an emergency alert level 6. Urgent."**Weir**  
"What? Did the Wraith invade, has somebody been possesed by an alien life form, are the Asurans attacking?"**City security**  
"No… apparently we ran out of blue jelly-o."

125. **Kavanagh**  
"Nobody knows… the trouble I've seen…"

126. **Wraith**  
"Doc, I feel kinda sick…"  
**Wraith Doc**  
"Hmm, did you eat anything unusual?"  
**Wraith**  
"Uhm, there was this one human, he did taste rather funny…"**  
Wraith Doc**  
"Did you prepare it before eating?"  
**Wraith**  
"Uhm… not really…"  
**Wraith Doc**  
"How many times do I have to tell you?! Wash it, peel it or cook it - otherwise forget it! One never does know where those humans have been before!"

127. **Some alien Princess**  
"Now don't tell me--let me guess who you are!"_(Pointing at McKay)_  
"You must be Grumpy!"

128. **Sheppard**  
"Wizzay keep frontin' bout it n we may git there brotha."  
**McKay**  
" Well, couldn't we hizzy met these thugz on a tropical beach planet populated by tall blonde bitchez, hmm?"  
**Teyla**  
"Brotha wants ta speak wit us obviously values they privacy."  
**McKay **  
"Yes, wizzy I value mah time, n this is a waste of it.  
**Sheppard**  
What's a waste of time is messin' ta you, Rodney.


	15. 129 to 140

Thanks to: _alwayz angw Anuna arcticmoonshadow Athena's Owl Banshi13 Belisse bookworm1442 Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap Dances-With-Chocolate Delka Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom Exangeline Geeked HieiKuramaFan Jammeke Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk McStupid MedliR memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SkitzStar SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue Watersoulhealer wolf guardian of light_

* * *

Sorry for most of the jokes being a bit lame ... 136 is a quote (coughbadmoviebuthilarious), sorry! All because I'm obsessed with the idea of drug!Sheppard... I wanted to take that 'Sasquatch is my dad' thing first … but the sheer picture of Ronon as Sasquatch and Sheppard as stoned 'baby sash'…. 'cough' was too hilarious….

* * *

129. **Villager**  
"Thank you very much for saving us all! You're a true hero!"**  
Sheppard**  
"Nevermind, I'm just your friendly neighborhood Sheppard."

130. _**(Ending credits, narrators voice)**_  
"Once again the day is saved - thanks to Team Sheppard!"

131._** (Team heading offworld)**_  
**Weir**  
"Go get them tiger!"

132. **Ronon**  
"Me Ronon, you Teyla."

133. **Sheppard**  
"Hey, Teyla, what's that animal?"  
**Teyla**  
"It's a …. Uhm… Pakalapa, yes a Pakalapa."**  
Sheppard**  
"You're making this up, right?"

134.** Lorne**  
"Sir, may I use puddle jumper number 3?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Noooo! My precious! My precious!"

135. _**(Team about to step through the gate)**_  
**Weir**  
"John, wait! You forgot your lunch box! And have you packed you teddy bear? You know you can't sleep without it offworld!"

136. **Sheppard **_**(after eating some natives' special fungi dish)**_  
"This place is kinda… juicy!"

137. **McKay**_** (after emptying his plate)**_  
"Uhm – did this taste like tofu? 'Cause I really don't like tofu at all!"

138. **Ronon**  
"So, what about you and Teyla?"**  
Sheppard**  
"Hu? What – well, I think she's nice, but I really not interested like that in her. I mean, I'm sort of her superior after all…"**  
Ronon**  
"Jooohn and Teeeyla, sitting in aaa treee!"

139.**McKay**  
"Croack…. Croack… Croack_?" (Damn it, that priestess didn't turn us into frogs for real?)_

140. (_Somewhere ascended Ancient's place_)  
_**Knock Knock Knock **_  
**Ancient**  
"Who's there?"  
**Wraith **_(smiling broadly)_  
"Guess who learned how to ascend?"


	16. Extra 3

Thanks to: _alwayz angw Anuna arcticmoonshadow Athena's Owl Banshi13 Belisse Belisse bookworm1442 Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 Clio Reap Dances-With-Chocolate Delka Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom Exangeline Geeked HieiKuramaFan Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSGfan KariHermione kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk Lujana lymbis McStupid MedliR Meg-z Peg-z memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus RadioShack84 Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SkitzStar SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue Watersoulhealer wolf guardian of light_

Sorry this extra ain't fun .. couldn't come up with anything better_  
_

* * *

**Well, there have been tons of Guest Star on both SG-1 and SGA so far...  
****So here they come!  
16 Guest stars we would like to see on Star Gate Atlantis**

**1. Arnold 'Conan' Schwarzenegger**  
We get to see Ronon's long lost brother and learn what became of him

**2. Ed 'Al Bundy' O'Neill**  
The Daedalus brings a special guest with it… General Sheppard, John Sheppard's Dad!

**3. Elijah 'Frodo' Wood**  
The Team finds a cursed ZPM, and has to ask a group of very small, very hairy men to help them destroy it…Maybe we even get a guest staring 'Carson the White'?

**4. Howard Stern**  
Whilst doing some standard puddle jumper tests in space, the team picks up a mysterious emergency radio beacon…

**5. Giselle Bündchen, Pamela Anderson, Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, Christy Turlington (And don't forget Michael Shanks, but for different reasons)**  
After a crash, the Team (Teyla had to stay back on Atlantis for unknown reasons) meets a mysterious tribe of amazons… for further plot watch Sumuru and don't die from laughter

**6. Elvis 'The King' Presley**  
He ain't dead – he's just gone home …

**7. Eva Longoria **  
We get to know Sheppard's Ex-wife ...

**8. Johnny Depp**  
Just because I want to see him... we could make him a super villain, or just a plain ordinary space pirat... just make him show up!

**9. Francine Joy 'Fran' Drescher**  
Dr Weir seriously does need some days off, so she hires somebody to look after her boys and girls…

**10. Patrick 'Picard' Stewart**  
An ancient artefact creates a rather huge gap in space and time, pulling over from another reality a familiar looking star ship … (_We get to see Sheppard and McKay drool in unison_)

**11. Joe 'Girls Gone Wild' Francis**  
One annoying (and soon to be dead) new anthropologist shows up on Atlantis…

**12. Karl Lagerfeld**  
We get to see new uniforms, a cat walk and find out what happens when a Tau'ri couturier meets a Wraith super model…

**13. Harrison 'Indiana' Ford**  
There's another person on the quest for the ZPM…

**14. Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Brandon DiCamillo, Chris Pontius, Dave England, Steve-O, Ryan Dunn, Ehren McGhehey, Preston Lacy, Jason "Wee Man" Acuña, Jeff Tremaine**  
Sheppard is having a hard time coming to terms with these new recruits…

**15. Robert 'The Doc' Picardo**  
After blowing up yet another medic, Weir decides it's time for something new…

**16. Terrence 'Hulk Hogan' Gene Bollea**  
Lorne's Team also does need a huge, muscle bound alien ….

(more?)


	17. 141 to 150

_Thanks to:_

_alwayz angw Anuna arcticmoonshadow Athena's Owl Banshi13 Beach chick Belisse bookworm1442 Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 chibikurohikitsune and Nime... Clio Reap Dances-With-Chocolate Delka Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas DutchGirl E. Nagrom Exangeline Geeked HieiKuramaFan Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk Lujana lymbis McStupid MedliR Meg-z Peg-z memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc mrskeeler nightriderbrat Pajus RadioShack84 Reefgirl Rissa of the Saiya-Jin Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian SkitzStar SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin tati Tazmy TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue USDA-Certified Organic Watersoulhealer wolf guardian of light_

* * *

**AN: 150… whoa… now that's 49 more than I wanted to go O.o****  
143 is a quote :) I could stop myself. And wouldn't he make a great one?  
Yup, I know I already had a reference to the episode 3.17 dialogue between Sheppard and Ronon – but it's so damn funny! Each time I watch it again, something new pops up – so, sorry for 149 too. Most of them are not funny, but posting only the two good ones would be strange ..  
**

141.  
**Wraith Queen 1**  
„Hey, where's your lover?"  
**Wraith Queen 2**  
"Well, to be honest… I was kinda fed up with him lately…"

142.**Sheppard_ (to some natives)_**  
"Stop mocking me! My hair does not look funny! I warn you - if you don't stop teasing me, I'll tell my big bad Satedan to beat you up! Ha! What you say now?! Not so funny anymore, are we?"

143.  
**McKay**  
"I'm doctor-"  
**Native**  
"Doctor who?"

144.  
**Scientist**  
"Dr Weir, we have found some inscriptions on the walls in pier 3. We think it might be something important, could you help us translate it?"  
**Weir**  
"Okay, let's have a look… Hm… Yes, really important… 'Who reads this is dumb' … 'Sally is a ugly pig' … 'Merlin loves Morgan'…Ancient graffiti, truly fascinating."

145.  
**Carson**  
"Radek, we have found out what that malfunctioning device you have been working on was used for..."  
**Zelenka**  
"So?"  
**Carson**  
"Well… erh - congratulations… you're pregnant."  
_(Zelenka faints)_  
**Nurse**  
"Dr Beckett, will you stop it. This joke is just not funny anymore, and he is your fifth scientist this week!"

146.  
**Caldwell**  
"Hermiod, would you please refrain from accidentally beaming new recruits into toilet bowls? Oh, and I would really appreciate if you stopped muttering 'tasty humans, master will be pleased' under your breath as well …We do not want to scare anybody off, before he or she has even met their first hostile alien, right?… Uhm, I mean one that isn't our ally as well."

147.  
**Weir**  
"Even though I'm afraid I already know the answer… Rodney, what happened to the new scientist the Daedalus brought over last week, you know the one everybody said that looked amazingly like Kavanagh?"

148.

**Sheppard**  
"It must have been really cool to be able to read other people's thoughts. I mean, you must have seen some really interesting stuff, right?"  
**McKay**  
"Do you have any idea how disturbing the chef's thoughs about dinner can be whilst you try to decide what you wanna eat? It's not like I want to know what meat loaf looks like au naturel, or why the chef herself wouldn't eat it, or why the last kitchen aid had to be send home on the Daedalus…"

149.  
**Sheppard**  
"So, are you dating someone?"  
**Ronon**  
"Like … a woman?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Or a man?"  
**Ronon**  
"Ah…. So… I see... It's true about you and McKay?"  
**Sheppard**  
"WHAT?"  
**Ronon**  
"Well, you just said-"  
**Sheppard**  
"No! I didn't!"  
**Ronon _(grinning broadly)_**  
"So it _is_ true, hu?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Stop grinning like that!! And no! We – I – just NO!!!"  
**Ronon**  
"John and Rodney, sitting in a treeee!"

150.  
**Sheppard**  
"Ronon, I think you misunderstood the idea behind jody calls… Yes, we want to make the marines run faster – but not because we scare the hell out of them by singing about breaking their bones or how well-shaped their butts are…"


	18. Extra 4

_Thank you all for 222 reviews!!!  
Sorry for the weirdness below, I'm afraid I just drank Nr 16 ;)_**  
**

* * *

**30 Merchandise products of SGA we would love to see  
**

1. A DrBibber Biro Edition – complete with retrovirus samples and lovely blue protection gear

2. An Atlantis rubber ducky – after 10 minutes, it surfaces on it's own from the bottom of your bath tub

3. Caldwell answering machine tunes (I bet those damn call centers would never phone me again)

4. Atlantean Swear-o-metres (mulitlangual)

5. 'Evan Lorne, the joy of painting' Videos

6. A Zelenka chess computer – complete with smug comments and Czech curses

7. A Elizabeth Weir Barbie, coming with a lot of red shirts, a mini laptop and Jack 'Ken' O'Neill

8. 'I have saved your collective asses and all I got was a lousy shirt' T-shirts

9. An ancient Magic 8 Ball, offering cryptic (and useless) messages for every situation in life

10. 'Stranger in a Strange Hive' – Michael's autobiography about his life as an outcast

11. A Life sign detector with game boy functions (they look a lot alike anyway)

12. The ultimate 'Atlantis kitchen chef's best recipes' book (Coming along with Carson's '101 bad cases of food poisoning, the antidotes')

13. A leather necklace with some vicious alien's teeth / dog tags dangling from it

14. Sheppard's torn leather jacket (plus Genii crook and gag for the professional cosplayer)

15. Wraith bubble gum (available flavors: strawberry, peppermint, raspberry… human ;)

16. Special scientist's stock coffee beans (the ones labelled 'Content might be unsuitable for beings who rely on sleeping regulary')

17. An Atlantean poker set; with marked cards, hand book on cheating and the best tips for bluffing (written by Ronon 'stoic' Dex)

18. A bobble head doll Teyla with fighting sticks

19. A Wraith DNA experiment set (maybe even with a Itarus bug larva)

20. 'Original' Golf balls from the bottom of the lantean sea, signed by Colonel John Sheppard

21. Driver's seat covers, based on ancient control chairs

22. Carson plushies (with optional beard growth and gaelic swear words)

23. 'Ancient' bumper stickers

24. A 'Where is Ford' picture book (wouldn't he look sweet with a red cap and glasses?)

25. Asuran actions figures, with exchangeable limbs and collective mind option, saying'Kill acients, kill humans!!' when being pushed hard enough

26. A miniature puddle jumper (playing 'Yellow Submarine' if you squeeze it)

27. 'Original' fake dread looks from Ronon (coming in a silver box, limited and signed)

28. Athosian tea sets, candles and plaids (for there is a new ager deep down in all of us)

29. A McKay alarm clock, starting to rant five minutes before you set it

30. A John Sheppard memorial wig


	19. 150 to 160

* * *

**154** is not actually funny, I know... But I still can imagine it rather well ;) 

**155** … uhm, watching horror movies might be fun, but I'm sure I'm not the only one sleeping with the light one 'laugh'

**157** isn't an original, it's a Garfield quote. I had a hard time deciding who should play the part of the big orange cat, although first choice was obvious ;)

**159** Yes I'm obsessed - but I would really love to see the joke for once being played on John

**160** Is canon, I swear!! http://freenet-homepage.de/SaRing/pants.jpg seen 3.17!!!

* * *

151.**Sheppard (singing)**  
"Oh Lord want you buy me a battle ship, Caldwell drives the Daedalus, and I must make amends…" 

152.**Weir**  
"Rodney, please don't get me wrong. It's not like anybody would ever think of you as a petty, arrogant selfish scientist unable to work in a team for your permanently yell and rant at everybody. And of course it's not true that you are the most annoying person on the whole of Atlantis, expecting everybody to be able to read your mind and forgive your mistakes although you yourself never apologize-"  
**McKay**  
"Are you trying to tell me something, Dr Weir?"

153.**Beckett**  
"Rodney, do you want to come with me on a fishing trip next week?"  
**McKay**  
"No, just forget it Carson! Haven't you watched Brokeback mountain?? There's no way in hell I'm going on a fishing trip!!"

154. **Cadman**  
"Ha, Zelenka, you own me 300 bucks! They dated, they kissed – the money is mine!"  
**Zelenka**  
"You cheated! You doing things with his body doesn't count!"  
**Cadman**  
"You'd only said you'd never would see the two of them _this_- and I said you will... So hand me the 300!"  
**Zelenka**  
"Damn kurva! Uhm – were are you going now? You're not going to tell Rodney about the bet?"  
**Cadman**  
"Relax, I'm just going to see Weir, Sheppard and Lorne. Apparently you're not the only one losing some money for a simple kiss..."

155.**Weir**  
"Carson, why exactly do you want to send the new doc back? He's one of the best, isn't he?"  
**Beckett**  
"Liz! His name is _Frank_! Frank _van Stein_ – do I have to mention he has a degree in genetics too? Couldn't he be more suspicious? And that new recruit he brough along – I swear he's limping when he thinks nobody's watching!"  
**Weir**  
"Now I see … I can't believe ... So that's the true reason why John got rid off that Freddy Kröger… No more horror movies for the two of you!"

156.** New recruit**  
"I despise you! You are the worst person I ever had to work for!"  
**McKay**  
"Oh, well? If you can't stand the pressure of doing real work, I can also make wear a miniskirt, and order you around to get me coffee and donuts; Maybe let you do some paper work and clean the labs!"  
**Zelenka (muttering)**  
"Except for the miniskirt thing, that's just what you're doing..."

157. **McKay**  
"You staring at my food doesn't bother me at all John... SO WOULD YOU MIND STOPPING IT!!"

158. **Weir**  
"Okay, I will ask you one more time, just to make sure I didn't get you wrong John. We live on a city floating on an endless ocean in the middle of nowhere, nothing but water around us – and you ask me to install a pool on pier 2 ?!?!"

159. **Sheppard_ (in the mess)_**  
"Okay, so tell me what this fantastic new device is good for, except to make you look like a mutating bumble bee?"  
**McKay**  
"Ha, watch this! Hi, Teyla!"  
**Teyla _(turns round)_**  
"Hi Ro-whooarrrrr meeeeoow!! Hatcha!!"  
**Sheppard**  
"Now that's cool!! A womanizer!! Lemme have it! Hi Teyla!!"  
**Ronon (_turns round)_**  
"Hi John - heeeeeeey – aaarrrrrhhh hooootz!!"  
**_Sheppard faints_**

160. **Sheppard**  
"Hm, I think Caldwell can't stand me."  
**Weir**  
"Hm? What makes you think so?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Well, I order a dozen black Calvin Klein shorts… Now I have 12 pink low rise panties, thank you."


	20. 161 to 168

Very short, more soon :)

* * *

161._ **Anybody telling a Chuck Norris joke**_

162. **Native child**  
"Mommy, Mommy! There are fours strangers in our backyard, and one of them is taking away my toys!!! I think they are aliens - They landed in a bread box shaped UFO!!!"  
**Native Mom**  
"Don't be silly my dear, you know there's no such thing like aliens!"

163. **Lorne**  
"Will you stop picking on me? I don't get into trouble that often! I am very capable of taking care of myself and my team Sir!"  
**Sheppard**  
"Okay, okay … I'm sorry ... 'snort' _Damsel in mistress_.."

164. **Weir**  
"No John, we don't need an atlantean Baywatch team!! And no, you're not allowed to add 'female, pretty face, long hair, 90, 60, 90" to the job description!!"

165. **Neighbor**  
"So, Caleb, wheres Jeannie? I haven't seen her around for quite some time now."  
**Miller**  
"Uhm, well… She's currently residing in a far, far away galaxy, helping her brother – whom she hasn't seen in 4 years – to save the ancient city of Atlantis, to find a weapon to fight off those damn life sucking aliens."  
**Neighbor**  
"Ah, I see… Yes, when my wife ran away, I also said she was abducted by aliens… Try to take it easy, you sure find another one. She was a shrew anyway..."

166. **Weir**  
"So, have you figured out what those devices are good for yet?"  
**McKay**  
"Uhm, yes… so far, we have found a Baby Bottle Sterilizer, a pacifier changing it's taste every three minutes, a diaper with a early-warning radar and a brochure 'Why I should not ascend even if my child has infant colic and the father spends all his time in the lab'."

167. **Female new recruit (_while her baggage is beamed down from the Daedalus_)**  
"Yes, that's mine … Uhm, that's mine too… Haha, yes, that one as well… yes, mine… 'giggle' Yes, also… hihihi, yes this one is mine too… And those two as well… hihihi!!"

168. _**The team stumbling across a musical fixed, bollywood like culture; I wanna see a episode complete with all characters singing, dancing (and of course doing 2 hour of back stories!!)**_


	21. 169 to 178

Sorry for the long wait! Thanks for still reading!

_As for 177, I don't remember seeing the two of them alone in the mess so far, eating together?  
This would sure be some fun XD (And maybe result in a few traumatized people )_

* * *

**169. ****McKay:**  
"I know, I know, I was the one complaining our uniforms should be a little bit more comfortable – but LEGWARMERS??" 

**170.****Dr Weir:**  
"Beetle juice, Beetle juice, Beetle juice!"

**171. **  
** McKay:**  
"Hu, strange."  
** Sheppard: **  
"What's strange?"McKay: "Why does every planet we were so far not only look like earth, but also has the same plants and animals??"

**172.Teyla:**  
"Why do earthians watch soap operas?"

173.**Mckay**  
"You know what was the worst thing of having Cadman in my head? Hearing her thinking about other women... I swear, no man could ever come close to judge a female asmean and chauvinistic as a woman!"

**174. Zelenka**  
"... And please keep in mind the most important law of physic – 'The more important the thing is you break, the more likely McKay is going to kill you'."

**175. McKay**  
"Elizabeth, what shall I fill in inDr Watson's dead form? And please don't tell me to stick to the truth... Spontaneous self combustion would sound bad enough - but spontaneous self explosion??"

**176. Sheppard (to some new recruits)**  
"The first rule about Atlantis is – you do not talk about Atlantis."

177.** Sheppard**  
"Where are McKay and Ronon?"  
**Teyla**  
"Uhm, they said they'd be in the mess hall... John, what exactly is the meaning of '_Food fight'_ ?"

**178. Sheppard**  
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome on board Puddlejumper 4 flight to a planet we know nothing about. In a few minutes, just as soon as we have received permission, we'll be taking off though the gate. When we have reached our cruising speed of 2000 miles an hour, we will be flying at a hopefully decent height or we crush into some rocks. Our flight time today is 17 seconds, so we will be on this backwater planet in about no time. The flight attendants will be serving no snacks and drinks during the flight, for McKay has eaten them all on the last trip. Please, fasten your seat belts and remember that smoking is not allowed on this flight..."


	22. Extra 5

Thanks to (what an incredible long list!! O.O) _...  
angw Anuna arcticmoonshadow Athena's Owl AutumnStarr Banshi13 Beach chick Belisse bookworm1442 Broken Fire Hydrant Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 chibikurohikitsune and Nime... Clio Reap CokeAddiction Dances-With-Chocolate DarthBetty Delka dinawen Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas DutchGirl E. Nagrom Ewa Snow Exangeline Geeked HieiKuramaFan instinctualx Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko JoSG1fan KariHermione keera-lechipchip kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk Lujana lymbis Marisa McStupid MedliR memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc Monzie mrskeeler nightriderbrat NixandRonon Ognonamis Osperus Pajus RadioShack84 Reefgirl Reincarnated.Pink.Shoelace Rissa of the Saiya-Jin rose Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SithLibrarian skipgunner SkitzStar sky's girl forever SmacksKiller SpaceMonkey0941 sparklyshimmer2010 Splitbeak Star Mage1 SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin Susan Swede85 tati Tazmy TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue USDA-Certified Organic Watersoulhealer wolf guardian of light  
Special Special Thanks to _SkitzStar _for counting ;)_

* * *

**_Top 18 of stolen plots we would love to see on Stargate Atlantis …_**

* * *

**1.**** My big fat Athosian Wedding**  
** Summary:** Teyla has met the man of her dreams – but marrying him turns out to be a bit stressful, as suddenly all her relatives from all over Pegasus show up to 'help' prepare her wedding…  
** My Reasons: **Teyla is such a funny, sweet character! Let her interact more, and damn give her a bit more private life than meditation, beating others up and sitting in the mess hall! And an atlantean wedding is long time overdue anyway... 

**2. Lantean weeds**  
** Summary: **As the Pentagon decides to cut the funding of the expedition, the inhabitants of Atlantis have to find other means to maintain their lifestyle – fortunately, the botanists have found some really interesting plants…  
** My Reasons: **Thousands of new planets, a brand new flora yet to be discovered (and tested) – is it only me thinking there might be '_interesting_' plants out there? And why do you think has Lorne got a botanist on his team, hm?? Lorne, the 'artist? Does that ring a bell? 'slightly insane laughter'

**3. Nightmare before Atlantis**  
** Summary: **Boneman Sheppard, king of the pumpkin marines, is feeling lonely and depressed. After a visit to Merry Scientists Land, he decides to take over Santa Yelling McKay's part and rule the Altantean labs…  
**My Reasons: **Uhm, reasons - well, I think it would be really, really cute to have a SGA episode done in Tim Burton style...

**4. Dragon Ball P**  
** Summary:** In order to save Dr Weir, who has been turned into stone by an evil demon, the team has to travel through all of Pegasus, searching for the magic Dragon Balls! Will Son Sheppard, Bulma McKay, Teyla Lunch and Tenshin Dex be able to defeat the evil empresses and retrieve the seven balls to call the Ancient long before it's too late?  
** My Reasons: **Since looking for ZPMs is futile anyway, why not try something new? And given the Ancient's strange inventions so far (Explosive tumors, Replicators), it's not as unlikely as it might sound at first…

**5. Desperate scientists**  
** Summary:** After the suicide of Dr. Old, a mysterious box is found underneath her bed, which leads to investigations that will pull the darkest secrets of the scientists of Atlantis out into the light…  
** My Reasons: **200 people, caught on the biggest damn suburb island one has ever heard of – please don't try to tell me no human tragedies take place, and no 'accidents' would ever go unnoticed.

**6. Teaching Colonel Carter**  
** Summary: **A young Rodney McKay desperately wants to go to Atlantis – but Colonel Carter doesn't approve of him. When he accidentally gets his hands on some private files, Carter plans to destroy his carrier for once and all. Accompanied by his friends Teyla and John, Rodney tries to talk sense to Colonel Carter – but things don't go according to plan …  
** My Reasons:** I'm no Carter/McKay shipper, and the idea of her on Atlantis isn't a happy one to me... So this is just about revenge I guess ...

**7. Sex and the lost city**  
** Summary: **What do John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagan, Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex have in common? Yes, they all live and love on the city of Atlantis, trying to find true love and happiness – and good sex of course…  
** My Reasons: **Hey, they are all grown up, good looking, single – who are you kidding anyway?? Of course there's something going on…So why not show it?

**8. McKayver**  
** Summary:** Stranded in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but a bubblegum wrapper, a potato, two concave lenses, five gallons of water and a screw driver, the only chance for survival to the team is one man – McKayver!!  
** My Reasons:** He's fixing all the stuff anyway, right? So why not exaggerate for once and have some fun XD!

**9. Emergency Room: Atlantis**  
** Summary:** (_Do I have to…?_) The only functional infirmary in the whole galaxy of Pegasus – five docs, eleven assistants, twenty nurse, the only hope for million patients! Drama ensured…  
** My Reasons: **Yes, I do adore defibrillation paddles, green (or blue) scrubs and the occasional 'We're losing him /her / it!' yell. I want to see more of it on SGA – I would even do with '_The Flying Puddle jumper Doctors_' !!!

**10. Ghost Whisperer – Atlantis**  
** Summary:** As if Dr Watson's death wouldn't have been bad enough, now her ghost comes back to haunt Atlantis – and the only person who can see her is Dr. Rodney McKay…  
** My Reasons: **Don't you loved hallucinating and 'I can see dead people' and 'oh my, wales' McKay? Of course, he's not as cute as Jennifer Love Hewitt – but from Hewitt to Hewlett it's not that far … 'insance offscreen laughter'

**11. The _A_tlantis-Team**  
** Summary: **"_In 2007, a offworld team was send to prison on an alien planet for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a the low-security stockade to the Pegasus underground. Today, still wanted by the government of P1-LO-21, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Atlantis-Team._"  
** My Reasons: **There's no logical reason behind it, just one question – who's gonna be Mad Murdock??

**12. Dumb and Dumber – the new recruit's tale**  
** Summary: **Two new scientist / marines come to Atlantis and find an incredible device whilst looking for the ancient colour TV sets. Of course they want to give it to McKay / Sheppard – but maybe they should test it first, to make sure it's not broken...  
** My Reasons: **I love new recruits, and I'm really sorry we get to see so little of them! Usually they only get a name_ after _they got blown up – that's just not fair! Show me some completely freak out, insane new recruits, drooling all over the place for getting allowance to stay on Atlantis! (I want to have somebody to identify!)

**13. The X-files – Mysteries of a lost city**  
** Summary: **Agent Mulder and Scully are back! After more and more people claim to have spotted a gigantic city floating in the earth's atmosphere, even Scully's skepticism can't hold Mulder back to find out what the aliens do want this time…  
** My Reasons: **Can you imagine all those marines and scientists, working and going back to earth, and not one of them spilling anything about Atlantis? There have been international conspiracy theories for far less fascinating ideas, so why not one on the lost city of the ancestors?

**14. Ronon, the barbarian**  
** Summary:** The epic tale of a man being hunted by the Wraith for seven years, and seeking bloody revenge afterwards…  
**My Reasons: **To be honest, this really isn't a plot I wish for - but it's dedicated to all those people still calling him Ronan ;)

**15. Cold Case**  
** Summary:** It has been almost three years since their grandson disappear, and now Mr. and Mrs. Ford finally want to know what truly happened to their little baby boy. Asking Detective Lilly Rush for aid, they hope she will finally find out the truth…  
** My Reasons:** Four words - _Damn good background music _

**16. Alien vs Ronon**  
Summary: Uhm... well, set in a dark place, Ronon tries to kill some evil aliens before they kill him?  
** My Reasons: **No matter who wins – we lose; but we still gonna have a good time watching Ronon on the warpath once more!!

**17. Sheppard Horror Picture Show**  
** Summary:** After their Puddle Jumper breaks down in a stormy night, the team is forced to seek aid in an eerie castle…  
** My Reasons: **You assume there a reason behind it? _A REASON_?? If you take 'wanna see them in fancy dresses' for a reason, here you go...

**18. (24) 27**  
** Summary:** 01.00, McKay's head set goes off – emergency in the main lab; half an hour later, the control room is calling, apparently the gate is malfunctioning; 02.13 the saline tanks are overflowing… 27 hours in the life of Rodney McKay!  
** My Reasons:** Given the size and age of Atlantis, there should be plenty of things to fix, and even more to go 'ups'. We get to see a lot of action offworld, Wraith cullings and so on – but the everyday chaos is rarely shown. So, get it on! Let us have more of '_rant – fix – save the day –rant_'!!!


	23. 179 to 193

_**Thanks to anybody still sticking round!!** _

_Yes, I'm running low on ideas and brain cells.  
If you get all of this … feel free to kill me_

_http://freenet-homepage.de/sharegirl/Lofl.txt if you are too lazy to google  
_

* * *

179. **McKay**  
"Haha Sheppard!! Alt.Me I Pwnzed you!! At golf!! Haha!!!" 

180. **Weir** _(as some team is about to leave through the gate_)  
"MTFBWY."

181. **Scientist**  
"Dr McKay, maybe if we should neutralize the force field using a minor naquada reactor, which we power up with the storage cells of a puddle jumper after we used a h-triple frequency to start it up?"  
** McKay**  
"KISS!!"

182. **Sheppard**  
"Well, and so we blew up that hive ship, saved the villagers from drowning and got an unlimited supply of grains in return."  
** Weir**  
"Hu? Ah, well KUTGW."

183. **Zelenka**  
"Is there anything the ancients didn't screw up?  
** McKay**  
"CPF?"

184.**Weir**  
"How was your mission?"  
** Sheppard** (_grumpy, dirt covered, just came in hot_)  
"SNAFU … FIOFY…"

185. **McKay**  
"So Radek, how are the new recruits?"  
** Zelenka**  
"SBB, SBTD."

186.** McKay**  
" What!? You say one of your marines has turned on an ancient artifact which is turning everybody who comes close to it into a Baywatch-superedition-like Amazon with giant breasts?? Are you kidding me???"  
**Sheppard**  
"Nope, SMO."

187. **Alien leader **(_talking to Sheppard_)  
"So, who is this Dr Weir woman you tell me about all the time?"  
** Sheppard**  
"SWMBO."

188. **McKay**  
"How did you get the new recruits to clean up your quarters and set up a golf course?"  
** Sheppard**  
"RHIP my friend, RHIP."

189. **Marine 1 (**seeing a hive ship approach)  
"Dude…"  
** Marine 2**  
"I know … NAVY."

190. **McKay**  
"Radek, this is your 20 cup of coffee for today, and it's not even noon."  
**Zelenka**  
"PKB?"

191. **Weir**  
"Your next mission on is to M7G-677."  
** Sheppard**  
"AWGTHTGTATA?"

192. **McKay**  
"So, what kind of mission is it gonna be this time?"  
** Sheppard**  
"PABG one. Oh, and since we can't get a PJ and the ancient facility is BANANA, prepare to walk there for GOKHL!!"

193. **Teal'C**  
"IDD."


	24. 13 Things we dont ever want to hear

_Well, to make a long story short, I had a rather unpleasant dream last night... Brhh! Truth stranger than fiction...  
Thank you all for reading!! 8 days left!  
_

* * *

**13 Things we don't ever want to hear on SGA**

1. McKay  
"Katie Brown – will you marry me?"  
**Brown**  
"Of course I will! But only if you will give up your studies, move back to earth to me and take care of the kids, vowing to never touch anything related to physics again!"  
**McKay**  
"Of course I will, my dearest dear, of course!"

2. **Teyla**  
"Atlantis is boring. I will go and live with my folks again, see ya so long."

3. **Ford**  
"Have you missed me?"

4. **Sheppard**  
"You know what - screw civilian leadership! I take over this place! From today on, this is my city! Muahahahah!!"

5. **Carter**  
"Hi guys! Since I'm a bit lonely over here, and there won't be any new adventures of Sg-1 anytime soon – guess who I brought with me? Yes! Mitchell, Vala, Daniel, Teal'C, come in! May I introduce to you – the new offworld team of Atlantis!"

6.** Little Pegasus native boy (to Sheppard)**  
"Daddy!"

7. **Koyla**  
"Hey, guess who's back from the dead, Colonel Sheppard??"

8. **Zelenka**  
"Here is my resignation paper. I've had enough!!"

9. Beckett  
"Hey, being dead is not all that bad – why the hell should I wanna come back? Leave me alone, will you!

10. **Wraith queen**  
"We come in peace!! Do not shoot us – all Wraith have become vegetarian! And the Asurans have had a change of heart too!"

11. **McKay**  
"Sigh… all this stress is just too much for me. Please take me of the offworld team."

12.** Ronon**  
"Hey, doesn't this new buzz cut look cool on me?"

13. **All cast of Atlantis**  
"Thank you for watching Season 4! This was the final season of Stargate Atlantis, for it won't be re-newed... thank you very much for keeping up with us so long! Good Bye!"


	25. 194 to 200

** T****hanks to _(this list is longer than the chapter itself O.O) : _**  
_a writer of fics angw Anuna arcticmoonshadow Athena's Owl AutumnStarr AutumnStarr Banshi13 Beach chick Beach chick Belisse bookworm1442 Broken Fire Hydrant CariadFach Catri Howlman-Carthaki spy Chaos Queen2.0 chibikurohikitsune and Nimeria Clio Reap CokeAddiction Dances-With-Chocolate DarthBetty DarthBetty dinawen dinawen Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas DutchGirl E. Nagrom Ewa Snow Exangeline Geeked Gingercake HieiKuramaFan instinctualx Jammeke Jenwryn Jezzalinko KariHermione keera-lechipchip kennyk12 Kodiak's Sweet Breath Lady Katanya lakewater lemons and wraith oh my Little Raven-Hawk Lorency Lujana lymbis Marisa MarisLily McStupid MedliR Meg-z Peg-z memyselfandi89 Miss Elyc Monzie mrskeeler musik-luvr nightriderbrat NixandRonon Ognonamis Osperus Pajus peev peev RadioShack84 Reefgirl Reincarnated.Pink.Shoelace Rissa of the Saiya-Jin rose satedanwarrior Scarbantia scifi lemon scifiprincess SG1SJSGAEJ Simple Tirade d'Aujourd'Hui SithLibrarian SkitzStar skysgirlforever SpaceMonkey0941 sparklyshimmer2010 Splitbeak Star Mage1 starfish SuperMiss SuperRainbowMuffin Susan Swede85 tati Tazmy TheAlmightyMasterT-Chan TheEternalPixie Tinker Belle Blue Tomboy USDA-Certified Organic Watersoulhealer wolf guardian of light_

* * *

194 ... he was a Rodney too ;D  
195 ... just google for Spartaaaaaaaa  
197 ... You will only get this joke after watching 4.01 – but hey, was I the only one rolling on the floor?  
199... I adore Heightmeyer, she is cute - but her profession sort of troubles me :)  
200 ...Well, look at the list, there are sure some spectacular deaths..

* * *

194. **McKay**  
"I don't get no respect!" 

195. S**heppard (_yelling_ _at the ancients_)**  
"THIS - IS - ATLAAAAAAANTIS!!!"

196. **Sheppard**  
"Hey, what you're up to Mckay?"  
**McKay **(hammering away on his Laptop)  
"Doing important research... I'm busy, so leave me alone..."  
**Sheppard**  
"Ah, right, you're playing ancient mines sweaper again, right??"

197. **Sheppard**  
"Yeeeeeha!! Space Invaders time, baby!!"

198. M**cKay**  
"Sheppard, I think Caldwell can't stand me either..."  
**Sheppard**  
"What makes you think so?"  
**McKay**  
"Well, a crate containing two hundred orange flavored Powerbar plus fifty lemon flavored ones might give you that idea..."

199.** Marine**  
"And well, I have this dream, were a Wraith is chasing me, and then he catches me and sucks me dry and I die a horrible slow death! It's so scary! Can you tell me what this dream means?"  
**Heightmeyer**  
"Well, this is actually very easy to understand - you are sexual frustrated, and you partner can't satisfy your needs! Thus you dream of Wraith, who are a phalic symbol of power and domination!"  
**Marine**  
"Uhm...if you say so..."

200. **McKay**  
"Ladies and Gentleman, and this year's Altantean Darwin Award goes to ..."


	26. 201 to 210

**201 - You've all seen the video, haven't you:D Oh my Lolz! Now that would be one guest 'star' I'd like to see...  
203 and 209 – sorry if I've done that before, but I can so picture a newbie asking  
202 - Congrats! Heard it's a boy!  
204 – Wouldn't it be funny to have one?**

* * *

201.**Random Noob**_ (sobbing, squealing, wearing mascara)_  
"Leave McKay alone!! You should all be grateful he's working for you fixing things and - just leave him alone!" 

202. **Teyla**  
"John ... I'm pregnant."  
**Sheppard**  
"Ah, now I see, I was already wondering -"  
**Teyla** (_sharp_)  
"Wondering what?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Uhm, nothing, do you have a new hairdo?"

203.** Sheppard **(_new recruits day_)  
"Okay, so those are some of the basic facts about Pegasus. Any questions?"  
**New recruit**  
"Sir, why is it all aliens do speak English in Pegasus?"  
**Sheppard**  
"Are you a linguist?"  
**New recruit**  
"No, Sir."  
**Sheppard  
**"Okay. Any other questions?"

204.** McKay**  
"Now that's – oh my god, I found a way to activate the altantean city avatar! This is great! Atlantis, can you read me?"  
**Atlantis**  
"Damn... note to self – next time get dumber scientist."

205.**Carter**  
"Present me a mission plan with a least a decent chance of working out!"  
**Sheppard**  
"Hey, this is a search-find-get-McKay-kill-some-Wraith-mission – it's not like you need a plan for it! Besides, what happened to good old O'Neill 'it's dumb but that's the reason it will work'?"

206. **McKay**  
"It's unfair! Each time I get caught, it's the Wraith; each time you get caught it's somebody hot! Just for one I wanna be captured by the sexy alien."  
**Ronon**  
"A gay space nomad leader? What are the odds?"

207.** McKay**  
"I thought there'd be more hot girls."  
**Sheppard**  
"Yeah, like a bunch of cheerleader jumping up and down or what? This is supposed to be a nightmare Rodney."  
**McKay**  
"Wraith cheerleaders?"  
**Sheppard**  
"You're sick, you know?"

208.**Asurans**  
"Atlantis, this is the collective. We come in peace – please take Dr Weir back! She tyrannizing us, and those mood swings are horrible! Please, take her back! We'll do anything, just take her back!"

209.** McKay**(_new recruits day_)  
"Well, there isn't much more to say – not like you understood anything of the basics so far. Any dumb questions?"  
**New recruit**  
"Uhm, Dr McKay – why can drones and puddle jumpers pass the shields to the outside – and, as in cause of spacecrafts even return without being destroyed or the shield being lowered?"**  
McKay**  
"Do you have a degree in astrophysics or are you related to any member of the nobel prize committee?"  
**New recruit**  
"No?"**  
McKay**  
"Okay. Any other dumb questions?"

210.**Carter**  
"I know how you feel Colonel Sheppard, but I still think it was good it was you who touched the crystal."  
**Sheppard**  
"Why so? You talk as if it was a good thing my image haunting everybody's nightmares..."  
**Carter**  
"It was. Just imagine, it had been Rodney haunting everybody's nightmares."  
**Sheppard**  
"Hm, you're right - we wouldn't ever have notice the difference..."


	27. 211 to 218

_Sorry, it has been to long, I'm still trying to get back, please bear with me :)_

_As for 216... I still can't stand him, pardon me  
215 It's an annoying quote, look it up under Ujiji ;)_

* * *

211.**Sheppard**  
"You did leave somebody behind on Sateda?"  
**Ronon**  
"You mean other than all of my people, my lover, my family, everybody I knew? Naaa, what makes you think..." 

212.**Sheppard**  
"Well, if McKay would have been chosen to be in charge, things would definitely be different on Atlantis for sure."  
** Zelenka**  
"Hm... Atlantis would be called Little Siberia, have population of less then 5 people and would go to war for coffee anytime."

213.**Carter**  
"John, I might be new on this base – but I highly doubt coffee, chocolate or golf balls are official means of payment on Atlantis."  
** Sheppard**  
"You have never seen what McKay will do for a powerbar, have you?"

214. **McKay**  
"Look, I know you don't like me, but -"  
** Teyla**  
"Why should I not like you, Rodney?"  
** Mckay**  
"Hu? What?? Uhm... Oh... now that's a first..."

215.**Anybody**  
"Dr Beckett, I presume?"

216. **McKay**  
"Well, you remember the time when I said no hairdo could possibly be worse than the long, unwashed ponytail attached to the head of an approved idiot?"  
** Sheppard**  
"I see, you already ran into Kavanagh?"

217.**Carter**  
"So, how are you doing Katie?"  
**Katie**  
"I'm doing fine, I'm not on medication, we haven't experimented with any alien plants and there are no hereditary diseases in my family. I eat healthy food, do a lot of exercise, didn't get hit on the head lately and have an IQ of at least 120."  
** Carter**  
"So it is a mind controlling device?!"

218.**Sheppard**  
"Surrender! I have a McKay and a Ronon on my team, and I'm not afraid to use them!"


	28. 219 to 229

_Sorry, it has been way too long since I last posted!_

222 I'd love the idea of having one on SGA :D  
225 It's annoying the hell out of anybody ggrrh  
229... No kidding, Ronon has been on the cast of BW

* * *

219. **Wraith** (_to victim_)  
"I'm not touching you... hrhr ...I'm not touching you... hrhr"

220.** Ford**  
"I spy with my _little _eye..."

221. **Evil guy**

"I see you are used to pain."**  
Sheppard**  
"I have been working out with Ronon Dex."**  
Evil guys**  
"Oh!"**  
Sheppard**  
"I have spared with Teyla Emmagan."**  
Evil guy**  
"Uuuuh!"**  
Sheppard**  
"And I have McKay on my team."**  
Evil guy**  
"Oooooh...

222. **Sheppard**  
"So this is the atlantean prototype armor you were so exited about? Duh... Looks kinda... _boring..._"**  
McKay**  
"What where you expecting? Iron Man?!"

223. **McKay**  
"So, what's going on over there?"**  
Sheppard**  
"Oh, Shit... this looks like your average worst nightmare coming true."**  
McKay**  
"Hm, lemme see... It doesn't include Zelenka being promoted, the Wraith killing us with a super nova bomb, me being eating by a gigantic whale, Lorne growing a mustache or Ronon confessing his undying love for me – sorry, but definitely not worst nightmare time yet."

224. **Heightmeyer**  
"So John, what's bothering you?"**  
Sheppard**  
"I'm afraid I'm losing my humanity Kate... "**  
Heightmeyer**  
"After effects of the Itarus bug?"**  
Sheppard**  
"No, it's a lot worse than that... I beat the officially atlantean Tetris high score – and I felt like bragging about it in the mess!! Geez, I'm turning into a McKay..."

225.** McKay **(_on a replicator ship_)  
"Okay, common – ah, here! Accessing the database, where's that stuff – okay, download... Hu? No premium user... Enter code below – sure _right_, what is this? Rapidshare?"

226.** Ronon**  
"Teal'C ... has your team also tried to teach you how to read their language?"**  
Teal'C**  
"Indeed."**  
Ronon**  
"You still think you are on the 'right' side after reading War and Peace?"**  
Teal'C**  
"Wait until you've read what they call The Grimm brothers' fairy tales... And they read them to their children."

227. **McKay**  
"You know what? Next time we run into the Repilcators, lets just install Windows Vista... Might do the job and kill them for real."

228.** Teyla**  
"The ways of my people are different."**  
Sheppard**  
"You sure say that a lot Teyla."**  
Teyla**  
"Well, it's a lot more shorter than '_God, what a bunch of savages your people are, you pat_h_etic space monkey from another galaxy who's thinking his culture is actually superior to mine_'."**  
Sheppard**  
"Uhm... _'Kay_..."

229. **Sheppard**  
"Damn, Looks like Radek won't come up any time soon ... Looks like we need to play Baywatch Ronon."


End file.
